escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
