the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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