There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
