Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
