its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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