fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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