I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
