you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
