Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
