I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
