Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
