AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
