Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
