Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
