She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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