Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
