So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
