problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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