Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
false alarm, still single
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
