so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
