Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
