You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
