You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
