At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
