we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
