he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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