Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
