you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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