Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
high people should be assigned attendants
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
