dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
