a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
