ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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