uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My balls are so social today.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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