I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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