Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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