I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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