Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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