If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
