I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
