i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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