Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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