omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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