glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
