I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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