Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
