That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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