Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
