never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
no more duck duck goose at the bar
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
