This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Alive.
So much puke
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
