when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
