Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
