just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
