Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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