If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
