Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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